Maiden Pure Entertainment
by StrangeSingaporean
Summary: Christmas is approaching, the first snowflake has fallen. Alucard and Integral aren't too happy about it. Especially if there's a Christmasloving Seras in the house. Fatherdaughter AxS, platonic AxS, and slight AxI. Christmas fic for edincoat.


Disclaimer: Hellsing belongs to Kouta Hirano, Geneon Entertainment, Gonzo Animation and Dark Horse Comics.

Author's Note: This fic has some scenes copied from a piece of fanart Lucy drew which appeared in And Shine Heaven Now on November 28, 2003.

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**Maiden Pure Entertainment**

"'Tis the season to be jolly, falalalala lalalala…"

Integral and Alucard were sitting at a table with theirs heads in hands and bored expressions. They were both staring at the willing and enthusiastic Christmas Carols Player, Seras.

"What now?" Integral asked in a deadpan tone as the chirpy vampire launched into another Christmas All-Time Favourite. "More carols, I suppose," replied Alucard. "Christ… Every year at around this time, we're stuck with a damned caroller."

"_You_'re the one who got us this problem. _You_ turned her," she retorted, not caring to wonder in what manner his comment was to be taken.

"Fine, fine. I didn't know she was like that, all right?"

Seras chose this moment to stop singing and look at them both. "Yes?" Integral asked. She did not answer. She just stared and stared.

Minutes passed slowly as Seras continued staring while both Masters ignored her.

"IT'S SNOWING!" she screamed unexpectedly. The two adults jumped at the rude shock. Sighing before settling back into her original position, Integral droned, "Yes. Snow. Yay."

However, Integral's unhappy response had fallen on deaf ears. Seras never heard anything anyone else said while bouncing about, yelling to the whole world that it was snowing. "Master, Sir Integral! Let's go out and play," she shouted happily. Then she grabbed Alucard and Integral's wrists in an attempt to drag them out the door.

Refusing to be forced into childish play, Alucard stood his ground and said wearily, "No. I prefer to stay and daydream, thanks."

"But it's Christmas."

He turned to look at his fledgling. That tone. She sounded sad. And she looked sad _too_. Just this once then. As a present for his "child".

"Very well," he sighed, hardly believing he agreed to play in the snow because it was _Christmas_. Seras squealed, delighted. But as she resumed towing the other two, she could not help but question quietly why everyone was sighing that day.

Once out of the mansion, Integral hastily wrapped herself with the sweater she was lucky to snatch from the clothes peg. But they were _pink_. The colour she hated most. Still, it was practical she wore it.

But that one single sweater was not enough. Her teeth chattered as she was led to a nearby forest. Slowly, several snowmen came into view. She had to admit, they looked cute.

Seras then began to dance around the snowmen, once again singing carols. Integral shivered in the cold, and thought heatedly, "If I have to stand one more minute in this _stupid_ sweater, HEADS WILL ROLL!"

Unfortunately, the young vampire seemed to not notice Integral's discontent and added oil to fire. "Come on, Sir Integral, Master! Why aren't you singing? 'Tis the season to be jolly, right?"

The knight was seething. Before long, she hardly felt cold anymore, and the snow that touched her seemed to _melt_. Seras should have felt the heat radiating from the woman beside her, but did not. Nothing could mar her joy. Not the weather, not her Master. Not the Hellsing.

Amidst the singing and quiet cursing, Alucard hovered around the snowmen as a black mass. He was observing every bit of the snowmen and criticising how poorly made they were. He of course, did so to find as much fault as possible to condemn the hateful season, the idiotic weather and how dumb everything connected to Christmas is. What a childish thing to do, he would think on a normal day.

Finally, after failing to find any more problems with the snowmen, he decapitated them all. Poor snowmen.

After a while, Seras stopped singing. No one seemed to notice. So, she sneaked slightly deeper into the forest with snowballs in hand. Then, she crept within ten metres of Alucard and fired.

The impact was so strong that he reverted back to vampire form with his upper body lurched forward. Integral flicked her head in her servant's direction, from where the "splat!" was heard. He, in turn, spun around just in time to get hit right in the face. He stumbled a few feet back to topple and totally ruin a snowman and its severed head.

It was a historical moment.

The great No-Life King, Alucard, knocked into a snowdrift by a _snowball_. By just one miserable snowball that smacked him in the _face_. To have such a powerful being beaten to the ground by a single snowball was both hilarious and possibly humiliating.

It was comical enough to make even Integral Hellsing laugh. And laugh she did. She sank to her knees laughing uncontrollably at the how funny her servant looked.

He grunted in anger and swiftly jumped back on his feet. Seras shot another snowball at him but missed when he moved out of the way. He quickly gathered some snow in his hands to mould his own as he dodged the flying snow.

When he got his chance, he delivered the snowball into the front of Seras' head. Alucard had made sure he used plenty of strength to provide the snowball with immense kinetic energy. Therefore, she soared through the air before landing on the ground from the impact.

Integral, most unfortunately, was not left out of the snowball fight. Seras flipped two snowballs, one towards the knight and the other at her Master. The "cannon balls" found their target.

Having been provoked, the only Hellsing alive refused to be pelted with snowballs without fighting back. She too started hurling snow at the other two. But the truth was that she enjoyed snowball fights. This would be her last time "having fun" if she could help it, though.

Minutes into the fray, even Alucard was enjoying himself. He knew it deep down, but tried hard not to let it show. The notion that snowball fights are for children still harboured in him. At least he had an excuse as to why he was participating in the fight, despite it being a poor one.

Hours later, when it was coming to ten at night, the last snowball was thrown. The three tired but grinning figures collapsed into the shin-high carpet of snow. Alucard was the only one not panting and trying to breathe properly, reason being he did not need to. Seras, on the other hand, was breathing only because she _wanted_ to. Besides, it's already been a habit.

As Integral lay in the snow, her mind wondered to the past. She thought of the distant past, when she was still a child. Everyday was a day of delight and learning. What fun she had in her childhood.

Then she thought of the near past, present and future. In the snowball fight, she had visited her childhood, when she would engage in a one-on-one with Walter. The future… The way things were going, there is sure to be trouble. She smiled, immersing herself deeper in her thoughts.

"Ah, so Miss Hellsing _enjoyed_ the _snow war_…"

Integral jumped. Unknown to her, Alucard was kneeling at her side and looking down at her face. Obviously he saw her smile.

"Alucard!" she shouted, furious. She got up and started striding back to the mansion.

"You enjoyed it, did you not?"

She stopped in her tracks. "What did you ask?"

"I asked if you enjoyed such _childish_ play," he repeated smoothly, lips curling into a smirk.

"I did not," she replied curtly before resuming her walk.

"You are still a child, you know," he added, making sure she could hear. But if she had heard it, she did not show. Perhaps he would badger her again later.

"You enjoyed it too. Right, Master?"

He looked to his left to see his fledgling crouching against a tree trunk. He had no other reaction, though. Not even a response. Seras asked once more.

"Part of it," he relented, but then pulled back. "The fight was never enjoyable. I had real fun only because it has given me a wonderful opportunity to disturb the Virgin of the Order." The he turned into mist to return.

"He enjoyed it, he found it pleasurable," she kept repeating. Considering what a past Dracula had… He had a past similar to hers, only without caring parents. A horrid past his was. She could just imagine the trauma.

She was certain it was Dracula's first time having entertainment so pure.


End file.
